Personal Reflections
Light At The End Of The Tunnel by Deborah Murray
How would you describe a seizure you might ask? The problem is that every single seizure that affects victims of Epilepsy is different. Though, there may be small similarities between them, it is impossible to match up one with another. That is why I find it a conflict trying to share with other people what I go through. There are days when I wish that I could describe seizures in a better way, because I often feel that I am all alone in this world trying to figure out ways to endure them.
Seizures seem to take me on journeys of my own whenever I have one. Although I have to say these are not journeys of enjoyment! Every time one invades my brain, everything becomes shaken up as if I am being thrown around in a tornado of vast circulating winds. All of my brain's comands get thrown everywhere and the world becomes an atmosphere of pure CONFUSION! I cannot figure out where I am or what is happening and yet at the same time I have an enormous emotion of fear that continues to build up inside of me causing perspiration and heavy breathing. Sometimes I feel as if I have been thrown over a cliff into the dark and I have no idea what lies below.
Some attacks, get erased from my memory completely and I get thrown right back to my home atmosphere. I have no recognition whatsoever of what just happened. However, other times leave me with emotions of disturbance, confusion and a feeling of being shaken up, almost as if the seizure has left my brain lying smashed on a concrete surface with all emotions and commands splattered everywhere.
Through all these different experiences that I have been forced to face, it seems to me that I am in a chapter of my life where my seizures are changing in some way or another. They did not always exist in the night. Now these creatures of attack have decided to interfere with my life while I am sleeping and they can simply creep into my brain when I don't even realize it.
The question is how do I let others know about these spells, because half the time I am left lost on what kinds of words to use for descriptions. I often call my Epilepsy an "Invisible Disability". There are assets towards invisibility. It does not really interrupt my lifestyle most of the time. The only reason I wish I could describe a seizure in a better way is that I could make other people understand what I'm left with when I come back from these horrid journeys. I often feel as if I'm in a dense patch of fog feeling unclear about everything, and being stuck in a dark black tunnel.
The main thing that I must remember is that there is always bright light at the end!
The Other Side by Deborah Murray
CHORUS: Don't you take yourself for granted! They way they look at you is slanted! They may never understand it! But darling don't you cry; You'll come out the other side.
Verse #1
You wake up having had an awful night. You're shaking with every breathe you take. You get out of bed, you're looking for the light. The day ahead will be the day you make.
Chorus
Verse #2
At work they only see your limitations. You've got persistence, you've got daring dreams. A tunnel leads to many destinations. It's not as dark and narrow as it seems.
Chorus
Verse #3
You stretch out your hand to give someone assistance. You lend your heart out ot spread your love around. You try your best to keep doubts at a distance. Your ears are open to a joyful SOUND.
Chorus